Forgive Me
by Maiya Asuka
Summary: One night, Jounouchi Katsuya makes a bad judgement call. One night, Seto finds out. One night, both Seto and Katsuya are crushed, and they are forced to make a heart-wrenching decision about their relationship... KxS, yaoi, lime, one-shot


**"Forgive Me"**

**By: xxPetalsAndThorns9xx**

Genre: Romance/Angst

Rated: R

Warnings: lemon, yaoi, swearing

Pairings: Katsuya/Seto

Summary: One night, Jounouchi Katsuya makes a bad judgement call. One night, Seto finds out. One night, both Seto and Katsuya are crushed, and they are forced to make a heart-wrenching decision about their relationship...

Disclaimer: I DON'T own Yu-Gi-Oh! or any of the characters. Nor do I own "Forgive Me" by Evanescence. (Katsuya is not "singing" this song perse, but it is along the lines of what he is thinking in this story.)

**GO FIDO GO!!!**

"Please, Seto. Please. . .Why do you hate me so much? Why, Seto?" he sobbed softly, hiding his face in his hands as he did so. "All I did was love you, I swear. My desires never left from you. I know how hard it is for you to believe these words after all that's happened, but. . .I don't even understand what the hell I did. I really don't. Once I do, I'll try to explain them to you. What I did was wrong. I know that now. I can't expect you to ever forgive me for what I did to you. But after being boyfriends for two years, why didn't you once tell me you loved me? Do you love me? Or is it because you held no feelings for me but hatred all this time, and you were just using me?"

Seto's cold hands held Katsu's shaking shoulders. "You are changing the subject from you to me. Besides, why would you _ever_ think such a horribly stupid thing? You know I love you with everything I have in my heart. . ."

"Did you ever once say that? No. If I mean so much to you, why would you refrain from telling me about all these feelings? Not once did you say, 'Katsu, I love you'. Why?"

"Katsuya, other than Mokuba, you are the only person in my whole entire life that I've opened up to. I was. . .scared of heartbreak, okay? I've been hurt by other people who have tried to use me as their sex toy, or their tool for fame or fortune. Don't forget all that bastard Gozaborou did to me. I didn't want to get hurt again, Katsuya."

"So instead of risking yours, you broke my heart instead? How could you think I'd ever be the person to harm you? There have been people who've betrayed you before, but I poured out every drop of my love, emotion and devotion, and for who? None other than you. Are you honestly telling me that after all I've done for you, you couldn't even trust your own _lover?_"

Seto said nothing. His arms suddenly clutched Katsu around his torso, and for the very first time ever, Kaiba Seto felt himself begin to cry. Despite how many pauses and deep breaths he took, he could not end his tears now. "I'm sorry, kare! But. . .Katsu, _you_ broke _my_ heart. . ."

Katsuya did not dare deny his Seto, letting his own head fall on his lover's shoulders. The blonde's tears came soon, and the two bodies shook and trembled as they whimpered against each other's comforting warmth.

"I know you're right, Katsu. What _I_ did to _you_ was horrible. But you. . .betrayed me. . ." Seto whispered.

"I'm sorry, Seto!" cried Katsu in anger at himself, rather than anger at Kaiba. "I-I mean it! I really am! Words can't describe how sorry I am. I really don't know what the hell I was thinking when I. . ." He couldn't bring himself to say the word 'cheated'. "I know th-that I'm the biggest fuck-up! The biggest idiot. I ruined all I had with you, all that I'd worked so hard to find. . .I destroyed myself. And, and. . .I betrayed the man I love. That's why I know you'll never take me back. R-right, Seto?"

Against Katsuya's shoulder, Seto made a slight up-and-down nod. Tears ran down the blonde's cheeks. "But why? Why? If you love me so much, and you need me so much, then why are you leaving me?"

"Because, Katsu-kun. . ." Seto brought his head up and cupped his boyfriend's face. "You cheated. That nor anything else could ever keep me from loving you. I might even die from misery of being away from you, so don't you dare get the wrong idea. But when someone cheats, no matter how much it hurts, no matter how hard it is, the two need to split for good. Because once the cheater knows they can get away with it, they will only do it again."

"I'm not fucking in love with Yami!! I don't even know the guy. There's are exception to every rule, Seto! Look at me. Don't you think I've learned my lesson already? I love you, and only you, and you love me. So why can't we just make up? Go back to the way things were? I'll do anything and everything you want from me. I'll be whoever or whatever you want me to be. I won't ever argue with you again, ever! Please take me back, Seto, please. . ." Katsuya fell completely to the floor, and he wrapped his arms around the weeping Seto's leg. As he continued to beg, the CEO did not interrupt. "Won't you forgive me and take me back again? Please, Seto! I'll _die_ if you leave me!!!"

Seto's dark blue eyes dared not look at his devastated beau. Those orbs still poured glass-like tears of unspeakable ache. They would probably never see each other again after tonight. "Please do not die, Katsu-kare. I couldn't live with the fact that I caused someone that much grief. Let alone my beloved."

"Then don't go. . .Don't go, Seto!!" screamed the younger desperately, tightening his grip on Kaiba's leg. "Don't leave me, Seto. I'll gladly take any punishment you could possibly grant me. It's worth it to me. I don't care anymore! Don't go, please, Seto! Don't leave me all by myself!!"

_**Can you forgive me again?  
I don't know what I said  
But I didn't mean to hurt you**_

Seto allowed his hand to rest on his golden locks and stroke them comfortingly. "Come on, now," he soothed. "Don't beat yourself up over this shit. I know how you feel, but it'll only make things worse for you if you continue to scream like this. I have already made my decision, so talking like this will only make it worse. I love you with all of my heart. But, for the sake of you and I, we also must part.

"We are the complete opposite, Katsuya. Opposites attract, but they also clash. We're too different, and we're too much alike. It's not only what you did. It's how we get along. It's compatability. This ordeal is only evidence that we're better off alone. We just don't belong together, no matter how much we love each other. By continuing this, we will only continue to hurt each other, just like we have tonight."

Katsuya sniffed only to shed more tears anew. Even in the most stressful situations, just hearting his lover's voice would always calm him down a bit. "I-I see. . .So, Seto-kun. You really don't want to be with me anymore?"

His counterpart only cried harder, but slowly shook his head. His reluctance was obvious, but Katsuya had no more strength to argue or care.

It was killing Seto inside and out to tell Katsuya such things. "Wanting" to be with him was not the correct question. Of course he wanted to be with him. He desired it more than anything else on the face of the earth. He was willing to throw away his company, money, fame, glory and pride. . .all of it, if it meant he could be with his kare forever. He was ready to do so, too. However, he knew that doing so wouldn't change the fact that this relationship _had_ to end.

"Gomen nasai, Seto-kare. . .Saraba. Aishiteru." Katsu began to stand up, making his way to the door. Once he had said "farewell" to his one and only, he could feel the fairy-tale romance book closing in on him. Soon enough, all the pain and suffering would be over. Over for good. No more reservation, no more worrying, no more ache or break. They would never see each other again, more than likely. He should have been glad that all of this was finally over.

. . .So, why wasn't he?

_**I heard the words come out  
I felt that I would die  
It hurt so much to hurt you**_

He never would have wanted things to end like this, to go this wrong. Not ever. The only person he had ever loved was Seto. The only thing he'd ever truly wanted or needed was Seto. All of those past relationships with naïve, giggly schoolgirls meant nothing at all to him. He had never realized love or even happiness until he met Seto. He'd been a bigot, selfish, rude, violent, and. . .a homophobe. But Seto had changed his life so drastically; being the boyfriend (or even friend) of him was like taking his entire life direction in a 180-degree turn.

It was too late to give up now. It just wasn't fair.

He had hooked up with Yami for one night. When Katsu had kissed him, he had not been out of his drunken state. He just missed partying with Seto so much, that when Seto had taken off on a plane to America for an international meeting, he needed someone to get drunk with and dance with. His desire for Seto had grown so unruly that he began to imagine Seto being by his side, while on the contrary, it was really Yami. Hell, he had even called Yami by the name of "Seto-kare" due to his intoxicated confusion.

That was by no means an intended scapegoat or excuse for his actions. As a legal adult, it was his duty to remain an educated and responsible adult at all times. But for the first and only time in his life, he had finally found love. And also for the first and only time, he had been led on and fooled by that same love.

If he truly did not die from grief of this loss, he would surely kill himself. He couldn't live like this. Now that Seto had shown him what love is, Katsuya finally realized that he had grown hopelessly dependent on it. If it even gained a little attention or compassion from Seto, he was willing to do that. Even if he was dead when he received that compassion, it would be worth it. The idea of attention-nagging was especially sickening to Katsu, but if it came to suicide, it would not be his sole reason.

Either way, he knew he was going to die soon. He just knew it.

Now, just as he got to his feet, something stopped him from getting any closer to the door. Upon looking down toward the floor, he saw none other than Seto's hand tugging and holding onto the end of his sleeve. The brunette was not looking his blonde in the eye or even in his direction, but rather, at the opposite wall. His tears were still full and flowing, and his face was blushing red from all of the angst. With a sudden change in his mood, Seto shyly whispered:

"Katsu-kare, could we please. . .have just one more night together? Onegai?"

How could Katsuya ever say "no" to that? Especially under the circumstances. He gave a warm, light-hearted smile. This was the best way to come to the inevitable ending. With a smile on his face, a laugh in his voice, and tender, compassionate last hours with his Seto.

"Of course we can, Seto-kun. Of course."

_**Then you look at me;  
You're not shouting anymore  
You're silently broken.**_

Seto held onto the other man's arm for support as he stood up. Unlike moments ago, his cerulean orbs now almost bore into Katsu's honey-brown ones. There were a few seconds of vague communication through eye contact and thick silence. Then, the brunette stepped in as the first to speak again. "Katsu-kun, _korehodo aishiteru_." He threw his arms over Katsuya's broad shoulders, slightly tilted his head to his right, closed his eyes, and kissed him like never before.

Katsuya tried his best not to shudder and shake from his crying. He returned the kiss to his one true love.

His hands coiled around Seto's waist, pulling him closer as they stood there in his bedroom with their lips locked. Neither of their crying relented; in fact, it only increased. This would be their last time together, ever. But if this would have to be looked back upon as a pain-ridden memory, there would be some positive aspects, too.

A pale hand of Seto snaked up the back of Katsuya's neck and ran through his beautiful hair. He used these fingers as a sort of pulley to pull Katsu's head back and separate their mouths for oxygen. Between the breaths and kisses, Katsuya slipped in a response to Seto's earlier statement. "I will always love you, Seto. Don't you ever think different."

Seto pecked his cheek and murmured, "Then please don't hate me for this. I only want to help you."

_**I'd give anything now  
To kill those words for you.**_

The bewildered CEO grasped Katsuya tighter to his body and tighter in his arms as he slipped his tongue into the other male's mouth. Slowly backing Katsu up towards the wall, he pinned him against it and kissed his boyfriend deeper. Katsuya granted Seto's tongue as much access as it desired, moaning and whimpering at the same time.

With caution and care, Seto lowered himself and his love to the floor against the blue painted wall. His strong hands smoothly slid down the sides of Katsuya's neck, past his shoulders, down his ribcage. When the tender fingers arrived at the other's abdomen, his hands flowed upwards underneath his white shirt and up to his chest. His right hand caressed his upper torso. He could feel the ever-pounding heartbeat beneath the blonde's skin, and he now consciously planned to take full advantage of this night. If he didn't, when else would he be able to?

The passionate kissing continued until the brunette broke their seal, and he nuzzled Katsuya's chest (an extremely rare action coming from Seto) as he used his teeth to unbutton Katsuya's shirt. Then, his lips and tongue moved northward to the nape of his neck, showing it as much affection as he had to Katsu's mouth. Finally, he would return to his original location, his blonde's welcoming lips, and he would kiss him once again. The pattern between neck and mouth resumed.

_**Each time I say something I regret I cry,**_  
"_**I don't want to lose you."  
But somehow I know that you will never leave me**_

The button-down shirt, now exposing Katsuya's perfectly-muscled chest, easily fell over his shoulders and down onto the beige carpet. Katsu and Seto's hands entangled fingers within each other, and Seto began to suck on Katsuya's index finger with the faintest, almost invisible smirk. Such taunting pulled light moans from Katsu's throat, and he mumbled something about "damn teasing." When Seto directed his eyes back to look at his lover, he inquired, "What was that?" Even though he really pretty much knew what Katsuya had said.

Katsuya did not answer the rhetorical question, but merely growled in obvious aggravation. He promptly managed to slip four fingers of his free hand into Seto's jeans, just past underneath the beltloop. Moaning once again, he simply tugged at them as if he did not know how to verbally state what he wanted, or did not want. On previous endeavors, Seto would have pried Katsu's hands away and told him "no", but this time was different.

"Do not hesitate, Katsu-kare. No one is stopping you tonight." With that being said, Katsuya skillfully unclasped the button of Seto's pants, pulled down the zipper. After freeing his other hand from Seto's, he hooked his thumbs on the sides of the jeans and pulled them down, along with his dark blue boxers. And once he had figured out the intricate buckles and snaps on the CEO's long white trenchcoat (which happened to have no shirts underneath it today), Seto's entire undressed body was revealed to Katsuya.

He'd seen every last one of Seto's physical features countless times before, but tonight, he could feel that his cravings were particularly strong; it took a damn lot of mental and physical strength for Katsu to not grab and grope. He needed Seto in more ways than one, and he wished so dearly that he would just hurry up. After all, his beloved boyfriend was seated on his lap, completely nude, and toying with Katsuya's body. Could he tease _any_ more?

Apparently, yes, as he leaned his chest against Katsu's and bucked his hips lightly against his counterpart's. _Damn, Seto, my pants aren_'_t even off yet..._ he thought, but definitely did not mind the extra attention. Yet, at the same time he _did_ mind. Mentally, he was begging Seto to just hurry up and take the rest of his clothes off before he had to do it himself. Seto pressed his cheek to Katsuya's cheek, and the two of them could feel the tears that were escaping their eyes, and they touched and warmed each other's faces.

'_**Cause you were made for me  
Somehow I'll make you see  
How happy you make me.**_

"Nnnh. . .Stop it. . ." groaned Katsuya, who couldn't help but let his sounds of pleasure ease past his lips.

"Stop what? What do you mean?" He gave another brush of his hips causing himself to moan at the rough contact. Seto, of course, very well knew what he meant, but like any person to dominate during sex, he quite enjoyed messing with his lover's mind and playing with his body.

"Ahhhh. . .Seto, no. Please. . ." he begged again, wrapping his arms tightly around Seto's neck and pulling him even closer. Why wouldn't Seto just move on and fuck him?

Katsu's pleading was music to Seto's ears, and Katsu would always get so taken away by the moment that he would forget that begging only made Seto tease more. It happened every time they'd ever made love, and every time they'd ever made love, it had never failed to slip Katsu's mind.

After receiving one last depserate, grunting request, Seto finally complied. He easily slid Katsu's baggy black Hot Topic pants off of his long, perfect legs and discarded them into the corner. And surprisingly, Seto had the unneeded but present guidance of Katsuya's anxious hands.

Due to Seto's bucking, teasing, and removing of clothing, he had moved around a lot. So he'd had to reposition himself back onto his knees, backed a little further away from Katsuya's body. In the past, Seto had usually laid Katsuya onto his stomach, fuck him breathless, and pin him almost violently down with his hands, pounding his boyfriend into the floor. However, this time, he did not plan on doing that. Instead, he wrapped each of his arms around each of Katsuya's legs and tilted him onto his back.

Seto was entranced by holding Katsuya in his arms. He loved him and he never, ever wanted to give him up to anyone or anything else. He had kept saying that he was finally ending it with the boy, and that it was absolutely final. And yet he could not deny that his conscience was _screaming_ at him to call all of this off and just make up with him again.

Was this really the right thing to do? For Katsuya Jounouchi, Seto Kaiba could actually admit when perhaps he had made a mistake as well. But he would be a fool for life to go along with a decision that he regretted so much. It was emotional suicide.

_Katsu-kare. . .you belong to me and only me. _

_**I can't live this life  
Without you by my side;  
I need you to survive.**_

Seto halted his actions, sat upright, and gazed deeper into Katsuya's eyes. When Katsu noticed this, he stared sadly back up at his ex-lover. "What is it, Seto? What's wrong?" His hand reached up to cup Seto's left cheek, and he softly twiddled a small strand of brown hair in his index finger. Trying his best to calm his distressed nerves.

"Just looking at how beautiful you are, and how beautiful you make me feel. Physically and spiritually."

"Seto."

The CEO leaned his head down as Katsu's hand pulled him closer, and he kissed his beloved once again. He could not do this anymore. There was no way. This could not be their last time together. It just could not be. Seto refused to see this as their final time together, and secretly, so did Katsuya.

Neither of them could handle this anymore. Now that the two had finally found each other, they never wanted to be without each other again. Knowing there was someone out there that Katsuya could relate to, now they couldn't live with the thought of being apart. It just was not right. It was too painful. What hurt Katsuya the most was that Seto was leaving him because of a stupid, spur-of-the-moment decision. It was not fair at all.

When the two men broke apart from their kiss, Seto held Katsu in a tight embrace, simply lying there motionless for a few moments. There was a confused, hurt silence before anyone spoke again.

_I'm sorry, Katsuya. Please forgive me. . .I won't reject you anymore!_

_**So stay with me.  
You look in my eyes, and I'm screaming inside  
That I'm sorry.**_

This was it. It was too much to bear for another second longer.

"I'm sorry!!" shouted Kaiba in anger with himself.

"W-what? What are you talking about?"

Seto wiped the tears away from his eyes. "Katsuya. I--I'm sorry f-for hurting you. I don't want you to leave me, and I don't want to leave you. We belong together, that's just the way it is. I can't lie to myself anymore. Nothing would be right without you with me. I'm desperate for you, Katsuya. I already forgive you, so if you can forgive me, then. . .will you please come back into my arms? And stay with me forever?"

Katsuya was overwhelmed with shock. The light of hope within his heart that had faded away about half an hour ago, was now shining brighter than ever. After all that he had done to him, Seto still loved him? And Seto was _desperate_ for him? This was not even credible, until Katsuya allowed a new kind of tears pour from his honey-brown orbs. "S--Seto. . .I-I'm so sorry for all of this! Of course I will come back to you. You. . .you are my love, my one and only love."

_**And you forgive me again.  
You're my one true friend,  
And I never meant to hurt you.**_


End file.
